Cinq millions comptant (1957)
Directed by André Berthomieu

Film Review

André Berthomieu put his name to quite a few lousy comedies but few are lousier than Cinq millions comptant, a flagrant and pretty lame attempt to cash in on the craze for radio-film tie-ins that invaded French cinema in the 1950s like a bad attack of shingles (only far more irritating).  Cent francs par seconde (1953) at least has the virtue of being based on an existing radio show; Berthomieu's film is a weak imitation that no basis in reality.  In fact, the film derives from a popular operetta entitled Monsieur Bourgogne written by Francis Lopez and Raymond Vincy in 1949.  Helped by a risible script, Berthomieu had an easy job destroying the film, such was the blithe lack of finesse and artistry that was evident in his later years.

The cast-list immediately cautions the spectator against expecting too much.  Jane Sourza is the brightest talent on offer, a larger-than-life comedienne made famous by her popular radio show Sur le banc which was itself made into a successful film in 1954.  By the time she appeared in Cinq millions comptant, Sourza was past her prime and had difficulty finding film roles worthy of her talents.  Ded Rysel is likewise another popular comic performer of the time whose best days were behind him.  His scenes with Sourza are by far the most enjoyable, the highpoint being Sourza's attempt to dance the cha-cha-cha.  The prospect of a Sourza-Rysel pairing isn't so grim, but then someone decided to throw in Darry Cowl, the 'actor' associated with more French film turkeys than perhaps any other person who lived.

Cowl's (totally inexplicable) popularity with the public ensured he was rarely out of work, although you'd have to be a masochist to enjoy his idea of comedy.  Cowl sinks the film as effortlessly as he sinks just about every other film he appeared in, but in Cinq millions comptant he is at his most aggravating.  (One theory is that God created Darry Cowl simply to make Jerry Lewis look good.)  Berthomieu's obvious lack of enthusiasm for the film is evident in just about every shot, most of which have the actors lined up in a row like ducks in a shooting gallery.  Anyone who can sit through this dross without garrotting himself in the process deserves some kind of award, ideally an operation, paid for by the French state, to remove every last trace of Darry Cowl from his consciousness.

Film Synopsis

Virginie Gerbois runs a school for young girls in the village of Chatenay-sous-cloche, totally oblivious to the fact that her husband Achille is leading a double life.  When he is away in Paris, Achille Gerbois adopts the guise of Monsieur Bourgogne, the presenter of a popular radio game show called Five Million and Counting.  All that the contestant has to do to win the prize is to answer five questions correctly, each in under a minute.  Unfortunately, the questions are so difficult that no one has yet won the prize, much to the annoyance of the show's sponsors.  Virginie intends that her daughter Arlette will marry her nephew Philémon, but Arlette has already lost her heart to another man, the singer André Dargent, and Philémon is more concerned with finding a nurse to take care of the baby he is carrying around in his suitcase.  The answer to everyone's problems is for Philémon to take part in the famous game show, at which point Monsieur Gerbois's carefully kept secret risks being let out of the bag...