Spike Milligan - biography

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.”

“I’m a hero with coward’s legs.”

“I’m not afraid of dying I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

“Money couldn’t buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.”

“My Father had a profound influence on me.  He was a lunatic.”

“And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”

“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

“I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.”

“It was a perfect marriage.  She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.”

“I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I?  He never reads any of mine.”

“How long was I in the army?  Five foot eleven.”

“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”

“Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?”

“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”

“For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand.  Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.”

“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”

“I have the body of an eighteen year old.  I keep it in the fridge.”

“I shook hands with a friendly Arab.  I still have my right arm to prove it.”

“Is there anything worn under the kilt?  No, it’s all in perfect working order.”

“It’s all in the mind, you know.”

Spike Milligan has appeared in the following films:
Let’s Go Crazy (1951)
Penny Points to Paradise (1951)
Down Among the Z Men (1952)
A Kid for Two Farthings (1955)
The Case of the Mukkinese Battle-Horn (1956)
Suspect (1960)
The Running Jumping and Standing Still Film (1960)
Watch Your Stern (1960)
Invasion Quartet (1961)
What a Whopper (1961)
The Bed Sitting Room (1969)
The Magic Christian (1969)
The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971)
Adolf Hitler – My Part in His Downfall (1972)
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1972)
Rentadick (1972)
The Cherry Picker (1972)
Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World (1973)
Ghost in the Noonday Sun (1973)
The Three Musketeers (1973)
Man About the House (1974)
The Great McGonagall (1974)
The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)
The Hound of the Baskervilles (1978)
Life of Brian (1979)
History of the World: Part I (1981)
Yellowbeard (1983)
The Big Freeze (1993)


Spike Milligan contributed to the screenplay for the following films:
Let’s Go Crazy (1951)
The Case of the Mukkinese Battle-Horn (1956)
The Running Jumping and Standing Still Film (1960)
The Bed Sitting Room (1969)
The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971)
Adolf Hitler – My Part in His Downfall (1972)
Ghost in the Noonday Sun (1973)
The Great McGonagall (1974)
Puckoon (2002)