Joan Collins - biography

“Dynasty was the opportunity to take charge of my career rather than waiting around like a library book waiting to be loaned out.”

“I do it because I love acting, I love working, and whether it’s radio, television, films, theater, I don’t care as long as I can get out there and do it.”

“I enjoyed being an adulteress, taking a certain vengeance for the fact that my husband was not being faithful.”

“I’ve never been that keen on Shakespeare.”

“It’s easy to play a bitch.”

“Yes, I love playing cartoony characters.  Been known for that.”

“America’s sexiest actor?  I suppose Richard Gere, really.  I think he’s too busy flashing his balls.  On the screen, I mean.”

“I have the absolute utmost respect for soap opera actors now.  They work harder than any actor I know in any other medium.  And they don’t get very much approbation for it.”

“I went up to Woody Allen.  ‘Oh, Mr Allen, I really admire your work.  I think you’re terrific.  And I read somewhere that you’re very shy, so I feel we’ve something in common.  I’m shy, too.’ He just looked at me and said: ‘ Well, you could’ve fooled me.’”

“Most movie stars - I hate that term - are not very bright.  Same goes for television stars.”

“Sean Connery is utterly wonderful both as an actor and in what he does.  ‘So I’m bald and ten pounds overweight, so what?’ He’s still the most attractive man on the screen.”

“[James Dean was] intense, moody, incredible charisma.  Short, myopic, not good-looking.  You know who he was like?  A young Woody Allen.”

“[Marlon Brando is] fascinating and scary.  Not somebody I’d want to get involved with for one second.”

“Age is just a number.  It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”

“I consider you as old as you look and feel.  And in that case I feel - I feel I’m about 39, like Jack Benny.”

“When I started in films they used to sign girls on for a seven-year contract at 17 or so, because studio doctors and people who were supposed to know thought women had passed their peak by the age of 26.”

“I received an OBE from the Queen, which probably doesn’t mean anything in America but is quite nice in England - the Order of the British Empire for services to drama.”

“The problem with beauty is that it’s like being born rich and getting poorer.”

“Well I’ve written four beauty books as well.”

“There’s something horrid about a face-lift.”

“When I was 18 in Hollywood, the wardrobe lady had to measure my cleavage.  Only one and a half or two inches were permissable exposure.  If too much was showing, in went a disgusting flower.”

“I know of two cases where critics writing on The Stud delivered their reviews before they’d seen the film.”

“You can’t believe reviews, good or bad.”

“I can’t go to Fenwick’s or Marks’ to pick up a pair of panties without people staring at me.  So, I bought a blonde wig.  No good!  I was recognised trying it on.”

“Basically, though, I believe in eating well, not eating too much but eating a variety of foods.”

“I think dieting is bad for you.”

“The ruination of civilization.  The worst thing that has happened to modern man.”

“I fell asleep during Deep Throat.”

“I have a lot of male friends.”

“I think health is another exceedingly important thing.”

“The compartment that’s easy to put me in: free-thinking, sexy broad with a dirty mouth, who pretty much does what she wants.  But there’s more to me than that.”

“I’m extremely happy in my life.  I consider myself to be very blessed.”

“If life throws you a lemon - make lemonade.”

“The secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it.”

“Loneliness is the universal problem of rich people.”

“I’ve seen the tremendous change that can happen.  Usually, to the man.  At any rate, in my case.”

“I’ve never yet met a man who could look after me.  I don’t need a husband.  What I need is a wife.”

“And I used to write novels and little stories and compositions and I - but I put them away because I started acting when I was 17.  So there wasn’t much time.”

“Somerset Maugham said there were three rules for writing - and nobody knows what they are.”

“And I kissed a lot of frogs as well, but no, I kissed a lot of frogs and now I’ve found my prince.”

“And I think of that again as I’ve written in several of my beauty books, a lot of health comes from the proper eating habits, which are something that - you know, I come from a generation that wasn’t - didn’t have a lot of food.”

“And then I wrote my first autobiography when I - well, it was 23 years ago.  And since then I’ve written about one book every two years.”

“And we have not found any generational gap at all.  If he wants to go a football game, he goes.  If I want to go to a fashion show, I go.  We don’t have to do everything together.  But we like doing most things together.”

“But I have had to give up certain things in my life.  One is shopping.  Two is lunch with the girls.  Three is cocktail parties, and four is studying my lines.”

“I don’t buy into you’re on the slag heap when you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or whatever.”

“I mean, even my dressing room at the studio has candles and cushions and cashmere rugs and things.”

“I really feel now like a native New Yorker.  And I’m very happy here.”

“I think it has something to do with being British.  We don’t take ourselves as seriously as some other countries do.  I think a lot of people take themselves far too seriously; I find that a very tedious attitude.”

“I think, Larry, one of the things is I’m a very active person.”

“I’m older than my sister so I started writing first.  I started writing at school.  I was always top of my class in composition, essays, English Lit and all of that.”

“Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.”

“The easiest way to convince my kids that they don’t really need something is to get it for them.”

Joan Collins has appeared in the following films:
Lady Godiva Rides Again (1951)
Cosh Boy (1952)
I Believe in You (1952)
Judgment Deferred (1952)
The Woman’s Angle (1952)
Decameron Nights (1953)
Our Girl Friday (1953)
The Square Ring (1953)
Turn the Key Softly (1953)
The Good Die Young (1954)
Land of the Pharaohs (1955)
The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing (1955)
The Virgin Queen (1955)
The Opposite Sex (1956)
Island in the Sun (1957)
Sea Wife (1957)
Stopover Tokyo (1957)
The Wayward Bus (1957)
Rally ’Round the Flag, Boys! (1958)
The Bravados (1958)
Esther and the King (1960)
Seven Thieves (1960)
The Road to Hong Kong (1962)
La Congiuntura (1965)
Warning Shot (1967)
Subterfuge (1968)
Besieged (1969)
Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969)
The Executioner (1970)
Up in the Cellar (1970)
Quest for Love (1971)
Revenge (1971)
Fear in the Night (1972)
Tales from the Crypt (1972)
Dark Places (1973)
Tales That Witness Madness (1973)
L’Arbitro (1974)
I Don’t Want to Be Born (1975)
Il richiamo del lupo (1975)
The Bawdy Adventures of Tom Jones (1976)
Alfie Darling (1976)
Il pomicione (1976)
Empire of the Ants (1977)
The Big Sleep (1978)
Zero to Sixty (1978)
Poliziotto senza paura (1978)
The Stud (1978)
Game for Vultures (1979)
Sunburn (1979)
The Bitch (1979)
Nutcracker (1982)
Homework (1982)
Decadence (1994)
In the Bleak Midwinter (1995)
The Clandestine Marriage (1999)
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
Ellis in Glamourland (2004)
Ozzie (2006)
Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (2008)