Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - film review

International criminal mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld finally gets his just desserts when James Bond tracks him to his lair where he has been attempting to create doubles of himself.  But no sooner has Bond dealt with his (very) arch nemesis than he is summoned to M’s office in London to receive instructions for another assignment.  Someone has been stealing uncut diamonds from a South African mine, smuggling them out of the country and hoarding them.  The intention is uncertain but the British government fears that whoever is responsible intends to flood the market with diamonds at some time in the future to depress the price, creating havoc with the world economy.  Bond’s mission is to pose as a jewel trafficker to infiltrate the diamond smuggling ring and thereby discover who is behind the dastardly operation and find out just why he (or she) is accumulating so many diamonds.  Is 007 up against someone who intends building the world’s largest tiara, an avant-garde artist intent on a hugely expensive publicity stunt or someone who plans to hold the world to ransom with a highly improbable device powered by diamonds in a way that defies all the known laws of physics?  Silly question...

This is the point at which the Bond movies became just a little too silly for their own good.  After a run of six generally impressive films, the series inexplicably took a turn for camp absurdity, which would continue throughout most of Roger Moore’s period as agent 007.  With an abundance of cheap sexual innuendo, implausible storylines, cardboard cut-out characterisation and some truly naff attempts at humour, the Bond films of the seventies are not the most highly regarded and the format began to looking increasingly tired and repetitive as the decade wore on.  Admittedly, things would rarely be as bad as they are in Diamonds Are Forever, which is considered the absolute nadir of the series, but neither would we ever again see a film to rival the brilliance of From Russia with Love or Goldfinger.

The problems with Diamonds Are Forever stemmed from the decision of producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli to make a Bond film with a more American flavour, in the misguided belief that this would make the films more popular in the United States.  This explains the casting of Jill St. John as the first American Bond girl and why most of the story is set in instantly recognisable American locations (including Las Vagas and the Nevada Desert).  Unfortunately, the end result feels like a half-hearted American parody of a quintessentially British institution.  The film is not as dire as some make out.  It just isn’t a Bond movie.  Hard to believe that this was directed by Guy Hamilton, the man who helmed the highly regarded Goldfinger.

Another reason why the film disappoints is that it tries far too hard to be funny.  The previous Bond films had a fair amount of humour, but this was always subtly woven into the script and never underminded the seriousness of the plot or characterisation.  In Diamonds are  Forever, and far too many subsequent Bond films, the humour is broad comedy applied carelessly with a trowel.  Here, we have comedy henchmen, comedy action sequences, comedy killings, an absurdly comic eccentric millionaire (based presumably on Howard Hughes) and, to top it all, a camply comedic version of Blofeld.  If the film was intended to be a comedy pastiche – in the same vein as the 1967 Bond spoof Casino Royale – it might have worked.  Instead, we have a film that can’t seem to make up its mind whether it is an off-the-wall comedy or a traditional spy action-thriller.  Yes, there are some good points - the superbly shot Moon Buggy chase across the desert and the memorable Shirley Bassey number – but otherwise there is little that allows the film to compared favourably with the previous six Bond films.

By this stage, Sean Connery is looking decidedly long in the tooth and fails to make the impact of his earlier outings in the role for which he is best known.  The actor had originally given up the part after You Only Live Twice (1967), and was replaced by George Lazenby for the next Bond film, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969).  When Lazenby was persuaded by his agent to relinquish the role after one film, Connery was offered a stupendous £1.2 million bribe (plus a guarantee from United Artists to back two films of his choice) if he would return to play Bond one more time.  It was an offer the actor could hardly decline; he would use his fee to found the Scottish International Education Trust, which enabled Scottish artists to pursue their careers in their own country.  This was to be Connery’s Bond swansong for Eon, although he would play the character one more time for another production company, in Never Say Never Again (1983).   After Diamonds Are Forever proved to be another box office hit, producers Saltzman and Broccoli one again faced the headache of choosing another actor for the part of 007.  The Bond films were far too popular to end here.  Audiences wanted more, and that’s what they got...

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