Bob Hope - biography

“When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.”

“I don’t feel old.  I don’t feel anything till noon.  That’s when it’s time for my nap.”

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.”

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

“Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.”

“If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”

“They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.”

“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”

“Deep Throat - I thought it was about a giraffe.”

“A sense of humor is good for you.  Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”

“I have seen what a laugh can do.  It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

“I have too much money invested in sweaters.”

“I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.”

“They said I was worth 500 million dollars.  If I was worth that much, I wouldn’t have visited Vietnam.  I’d have sent for it.”

“I’ve always been in the right place and time.  Of course, I steered myself there.”

“You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.”

“I do benefits for all religions - I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”

“I grew up with six brothers.  That’s how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.”

“I have a wonderful make-up crew.  They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”

“I like to play in the low 70’s.  If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!”

“If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.”

“If you watch a game, it’s fun.  If you play it, it’s recreation.  If you work at it, it’s golf.”

“Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.”

“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”

“She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.”

“The good news is that Jesus is coming back.  The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.”

“The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.”

“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.”

“When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.”

“When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.”

“You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that.”

Bob Hope has appeared in the following films:
Going Spanish (1934)
Paree, Paree (1934)
The Old Grey Mayor (1935)
Shop Talk (1935)
Calling All Tars (1935)
Watch the Birdie (1935)
Double Exposure (1935)
The Big Broadcast of 1938 (1938)
College Swing (1938)
Give Me a Sailor (1938)
Thanks for the Memory (1938)
Never Say Die (1939)
Some Like It Hot (1939)
The Cat and the Canary (1939)
Road to Singapore (1940)
The Ghost Breakers (1940)
Road to Zanzibar (1941)
Caught in the Draft (1941)
Nothing But the Truth (1941)
Louisiana Purchase (1941)
My Favorite Blonde (1942)
Road to Morocco (1942)
They Got Me Covered (1943)
Let’s Face It (1943)
The Princess and the Pirate (1944)
Memo for Joe (1944)
Road to Utopia (1946)
Monsieur Beaucaire (1946)
My Favorite Brunette (1947)
Where There’s Life (1947)
Road to Rio (1947)
The Paleface (1948)
Sorrowful Jones (1949)
The Great Lover (1949)
Fancy Pants (1950)
The Lemon Drop Kid (1951)
My Favorite Spy (1951)
The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)
Son of Paleface (1952)
Road to Bali (1952)
Off Limits (1953)
Scared Stiff (1953)
Here Come the Girls (1953)
Casanova’s Big Night (1954)
The Seven Little Foys (1955)
Showdown at Ulcer Gulch (1956)
That Certain Feeling (1956)
The Iron Petticoat (1956)
Beau James (1957)
Paris Holiday (1958)
Alias Jesse James (1959)
The Five Pennies (1959)
The Facts of Life (1960)
Bachelor in Paradise (1961)
The Road to Hong Kong (1962)
Critic’s Choice (1963)
Call Me Bwana (1963)
A Global Affair (1964)
I’ll Take Sweden (1965)
Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! (1966)
Eight on the Lam (1967)
The Private Navy of Sgt. O’Farrell (1968)
How to Commit Marriage (1969)
Cancel My Reservation (1972)
The Muppet Movie (1979)
Spies Like Us (1985)
That Little Monster (1994)